I have some great friends at this chapter in my life and I want to tell how one of them loved me well today.

I had a really really tough breakup about 9 months ago that dragged on to 7 months ago.  It was tough for both of us.  But while I was committed to grieving and getting over him and dealing with my issues, he quickly started dating someone else.  6 months after his relationship started, he proposed.  My friend found out about it this weekend when she was a few yards away from me.  She wisely decided not to tell me in a public place and waited til today to tell me.

She told me she needed to come over and have me pray with her, despite the fact that we were both exhausted and that I had 4 other things happening.  She insisted that she bring dinner and that she pay for it.  We ate delicious salads, me asking about her heart and concerns.  Then, right before we settled in to pray, she said, “Amy, I think we should pray for both of us tonight because…he’s engaged.”

I looked at her, incredulous, said a few expletives, then nodded and said, “okay!  I think we need to burn some stuff!”

So I got out that awkward stack of letters and cards from him that I had been keeping, thinking that someday they’d mean something, or, even if not that, that I wasn’t ready to throw away yet or, just, you know, wanted to hold onto.  I hadn’t read them for months, but they were burning a hole in my closet, underneath my fake purses. We grabbed some matches and headed downstairs to the fire pit in the back yard.  It was raining, so it took several matches, but I wasn’t concerned.  We watched as the orange flames licked the edges of love letters, christmas cards, pleas to get back together.  The rain kept falling, the A/C unit clicked on.  I prayed that any soul ties would be broken, that I could be free, truly free, once and for all, that I could really move on and be done with this chapter.

We stared at the pile of gray ashes, slowly getting pinned down by raindrops.  I picked up the basin to dump it in the corner of the yard, but she said, pour it out there, on top of the A/C unit.  The fan was on and blowing, so the ashes slipped out and then shot into the air and gently drifted away.

It was an offering, the cremation of a dead dream.  It was time to say goodbye.

“Let’s go get gelato,” she said.