i’m a recovering relationship book addict. i like rules and formulas and authors promising that if I do this, I will find prince charming!  hasn’t worked yet, but I’m enjoying the journey more than before. Probably because the pressure is off.  Here are 2 books and an MP3 on dating that I have found really helpful!

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk – Van Epp – This one is a real winner.  He talks about how you need to reserve falling in love for 100 days to really observe character.  Then he explains his relationship attachment model which moves progressively through verbs about intimacy: Know – Trust – Rely – Commit – Touch.  (Touch meaning an intense physical relationship, not like, touching.)  I really learned a lot from this book including why how a guy treats the waitress affects how he will treat you.  A great read!

How to Get a Date Worth Keeping – Cloud – I just read this one.  In it, Cloud counters the ideas of Joshua Harris who creates a super serious, high-stakes courtship model for Christian relationships.  Cloud says instead, we should date a lot of people, let that stir up our issues, deal with them in community, see what is likable and desirable in a lot of different people (for example, the guy who isn’t hot might have great spiritual depth–go on one date with him and experience what that’s like for once). His plan makes a lot of sense to me, so much so that I’m on the dating warpath, averaging 2-3 dates a week 🙂 It’s been fun and good for me to not be so uber serious!

Another helpful bit lately wasn’t from a book, but rather, an MP3 from Alison Armstrong of Pax.  This radio interview talks about the relationship between chemistry and character and it’s really fascinating.  I’d love for you to listen and tell me what you think!

Have you read either of these?  Heard of Alison Armstrong? Reflections?