Archives for the month of: May, 2011

yesterday i was at a fancypants overpriced grocery store that i stopped at on a whim on the way home. i picked up some spendy GF crackers, some brie made with goat milk, some awesome gelato and a $7 jar of salsa. ha. as i was standing in the frozen section looking at overpriced quarts of deliciousness, i saw a store worker approach me from behind. thinking he wanted to restock the freezer, i got out of his way. he said this to me:
“ma’am, you should keep doin’ what you’re doin'”
at this point, i thought, what? looking at gelato?
“i mean, you look good. i don’t know what your secret is: your husband, your aerobics class, whatever. just keep it up”
and then he rolled his cart of expensive beverages away and began restocking the kombucha cooler.
i did the whole disgust-delight-disgust-delight-masked-as-disgust thing you do when you’re getting hit on. ha. but he wasn’t really hitting on me.

#nude_heels_ftw

also, i’ve been doing t-tapp awesome legs the last few weeks. it was a nice boost after a rough day 🙂

i spent 9 months doing a fellows program that focused on approximately one thing: getting a group of recent college grads to think about work and faith coherently. i left the program feeling good about getting a job working for “the man,” knowing that loving my neighbor was being a darn good graphic designer, that pushing back the darkness meant making lucid and powerful designs, and that my 9-5 job was building the kingdom as much as a missionary because I was uniquely called to it.

sortof.

so, i got a job where i wear a suit, take an elevator, carry a laptop, speak in business jargon, stress about an annual assessment committee, oh, and do graphic design.

and i just realized, just tonight, that my view of my job isn’t big enough.

my view of my job is very narrow. I believe God gave me this job on a silver platter because i was unemployed, needed health insurance, and knew it would grow my character to be in an environment like this one. God then gave me a few coworkers to have deep conversations with and maybe share about my faith. He wants me to work hard, as unto him, not unto man. He generally likes the designs that I do.  And that’s as far as it goes.  Me, God, a few coworkers.

but, i don’t really view my company in a big sense, corporately. i don’t pray for God to bless the firm. I don’t pray for God to make the company more money. I don’t pray for the right employees to be brought to the company. I don’t think about how I can be a blessing to all the people I meet. On the contrary, I see myself and “them”–the pushy consultants who click past me in heels or don’t speak on the elevators. If I feel a hint of self-importance in someone, I write them off as a suit without a soul! I don’t particularly want my company to flourish–in fact, i think of the principals as people who sacrificed their dreams and their families to be where they are. gah! what scary things lurk in my heart!  i still have a bifurcated view of life, apparently.

anyway, i’m praying for a new perspective on all this. let me know if you’ve prayed for blessing for your big institution or if you’ve thought about how the Kingdom might intersect with your company’s more abstract mission. it might be time for coffee with steve garber…