Archives for the month of: December, 2008

me: bonnie, toe socks hurt my toes.  don’t they hurt yours?

bonnie: no, it’s good.  they get their introvert time.


i was flying today (rather, i tried to fly, but instead just hung out in the airport for 6 hours and then left) and i realized that in another context besides traversing the country, “playing airport” could be fun.

I mean, who needs cops and robbers when you have weary travelers and the TSA?  (cringe)  I can just imagine a fun game for the kids:  Everybody get in line and grab a bin, now, take out some of the contents of your bags.  drink your water!  take off your shoes!  fast!  now, walk through the door that leads to nowhere and show your paper.  watch your stuff on the tv screen, then grab it, pack it up, put on your shoes and run! whee!  isn’t this fun?

so the next time you’re at a loss for what to play when you’re babysitting, play airport.  yay!

if you’ve known me for any length of time, you know i have church angst. I was raised in a diverse cluster of churches that would make Brian McLaren proud–and me feel schizophrenic. i joke (with the right people) that my family is the circulatory system in the body of Christ. Here is a brief list of churches I’ve attended for 3 months or more:

  • Missionary (Baptist-ish)
  • Vineyard
  • United Methodist megachurch ala WillowCreek
  • Messianic Jewish
  • Reformed Episcopal
  • Charismatic Non-Denom
  • Baptist
  • Anglican
  • Presbyterian

in a crazy turn of events, i’m currently working with someone who aligns herself with the charismatic tradition and simultaneously joining a PCA church. the juxtaposition is striking and funny.

it’s really interesting: i vacillate between great pride and great shame for my own personal church history. i went to a huge missions conference a few years ago and the leadership tried to make the worship time as inclusive as possible and i knew most of the songs and prayers and readings: black gospel, old hymns, 80’s worship choruses, new passion stuff, etc. i know the 1928 Book of Common Prayer communion service, but i can also dance the hora and sing the sh’ma in hebrew and jump around with the charismatics. *wry smile*

however, i don’t have any denominational loyalty and my theology on the less-important issues is really confused. What do we do with Israel–are they still God’s chosen people in any sense? Can I stay a pan-millenialist and not think about end times?   Does God still do miraculous healings, or was that just for a specific time and place?  How many sacraments are there?  Is baptism a symbol of joining a covenant or a sign of becoming a believer?  What about baptism of the Holy Spirit evidenced by speaking in tongues–is that for everyone, or just a few people?  What about the rest of the gifts: for some, for heretics, for the faithful?  How much does my faith impact my quality of life?  What does suffering mean–is it discipline, God refining me, God punishing me?  What is communion–snacktime or the very body and blood of Christ?

And besides these theological questions, I have odd worship preferences: What if I’d like to raise my hands and say the nicene creed?  What if I like all the earmarks of the emergent church with a little more stable theology?  Can I ditch the movie clips and still take a culturally-relevant sermon?  Am I allowed to cheer about most of the reformation and still want my worship space to be beautiful and speak of transcendence?  I know that no church is perfect and that I’ll probably never feel truly at home worshipping til I get to heaven.  (I also realize this all sounds terribly arrogant)  Anyway, that’s a little window into my church angst. I’m excited to join the PCA in three days.  It’s all a little crazy, though.

the last few months have been crazy! really really crazy! i know most of you have followed along with me, but i’m going to make a bulleted list anyway.

– worked a few part-time jobs
– a trip home and around the midwest
– felt awful. convinced i had MS with no good treatment options
– relieved to start a new job
– car broken into, ipod & gps stolen, drove around for a week with plastic on my door

– got re-diagnosed with Lyme
– threw a Lyme Party
– began crazy Lyme treatments
– had a crazy psychological depressive crash/breakdown from all the neurotoxins and die-off
– found out my insurance company wouldn’t cover a cent of my IV treatments
– kept working full-time–just barely

– visited home for my cousin’s wedding
– went on a retreat for Crosstrainer’s
– went to a church conference
– experienced regular stabbing chest pains
– kept doing IV treatments
– hosted a lot of movie nights
– got laid off from my job
– dyed my hair
– got another job
– called my insurance company a million times

– kept doing the IV treatments
– got proposed to
– had 2 weeks of herxheimer/die-off exhaustion
– kept fighting my insurance company
– submitted a 70+ page appeal to the bureau of insurance with the help of a friend
– attended a membership weekend at church
– celebrated my 25th
– said goodbye to a best friend
– drove home and back for thanksgiving
– spent a day grieving my brother’s death

now it’s December. I’m going to keep doing the treatments and hopefully get another MRI to see if the lesions/bright areas of inflammation are still there. [pray they won’t be?]
I’ve already:
– attended a healing conference/weekend
– gone to my first christmas party and attended an advent service
– listened to my indie christmas station on pandora a lot
– watched Christmas Vacation
I’m really excited about Christmas this year–first time in a while. I’m also looking forward to seeing my sister & brother-in-law and dear friend in SoCal.

I hope December is a lot more mellow than the last few months have been. It’s been an exciting ride. I’m sure I’ll look back on this time of life as one of the best: great highs and lows, lots of vibrant colors. God has been faithful and good. I’m in such a different place now than I was in August. I’m so grateful. Please continue to pray for me and make fun of me for my crazy life. Both are necessary to help me get through 🙂