i keep thinking that life is going to get easy.  really easy.  like one day i’ll magically wake up and feel rested and want to make myself healthy food and then go to work and have an effortless commute and lots of friends and lasting love and endless happiness.  i really think that, somewhere in my subconscious, because whenever it gets thwarted, i get a little angry.  it’s strange: i’m very aware of our fallen world, yet i keep looking for eden.

and yet, life is still good, right now.  it’s just that the joys and sorrows are mixed together.  I find out I don’t have MS and the next day my car gets broken into.  i feel like i’m done grieving one loss, then another triggers the pain again.  things just keep getting better and worse at the same time.  it’s strange.  i guess i’ll just try to enjoy that life keeps offering the good and the bad together.  and i’ll look forward to the bad being redeemed in a dramatic awesome way that outshines all of the good i’ve experienced so far.

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