I came home 8 hours later.  In that time, I bowled a great score (for me!), took a bunch of rad photos, rode in a sexy car, ate dinner with 20 friends, talked about online dating, went to another location for drinks, locked my keys in my car, called AAA, got them out, kept hanging out, met someone new, told my best story, laughed really hard and then it was 11pm.  How’d that happen?  well, I am an extrovert. People energize me. People make me happy!

Today I woke up feeling tireder and weirder and decided to cancel my evening plans to stay in and rest. It was a little painful to say no to more socializing, but after taking stock of my legitimate physical exhaustion, I was okay. I’ve had a very nice introverted evening at home, doing laundry, cooking, taking a bath, calling and emailing the people I didn’t get to see. i need to find a balance between being energized and being rested.  any extroverts out there have tips for me?

and with this increase in numbers comes an increase in rejection.  not too much, but, you know, when you’re putting yourself out there, not everybody’s going to like you.  i’m not terribly insecure, but sometimes it still hurts.

there’s a simple solution, though, and that’s not to internalize the rejection, but just to come up with a reason for why it’s not you.  and the reason is simple: he probably just likes blondes.  he decided to click on my profile or take me to coffee or one one dinner date because he liked that artsy girl once or he likes blue eyes or he’s from the midwest, but really, i’m a huge departure from his type–the blonde type–and after stepping outside his comfort zone, he realizes it’s just too hard.  he can only be with a blonde.

and that, friends, is how you deal with rejection!  :)

I made quoinoa flakes for breakfast–an awesome oatmeal/cream of wheat alternative (yummy and warm!)
I went to work and didn’t have too much traffic (like, woah)
I listened to Five Iron Frenzy (they’re recording a new album!  It reminds me of my bro and when life was simpler)
I worked on a sweet magazine design (this is for the magazine I helped sell this summer–now it’s a reality!)
I gchatted with a friend and debriefed a good night last night (good night, ask me about it!)
I came home and made panang curry (My diet starts tomorrow–for real–and this is the ultimate in spicy comfort food!)
I watched What Not to Wear!!  (it is the very best show about inner healing!)

I just feel so happy!

Charming Charlie.
Loft.
Banana.
Ann Taylor Concept

That last one was hard to swallow. When the ATC opened in my neighborhood, it was a flagship store–one of 5 in the country. And now, Dayton?

I am humbled. Maybe I could move back.

Friday: Dinner with Glenn at a restaurant with glowing menus.  we got delicious salads, walked around clarendon in the crisp fall air, ran an errand, then landed at my house on the couches where we watched mad men and drank merlot.  it was lovely.

Saturday: Was graciously chauffeured from my house to meet friends for a lovely hike in Shenandoah valley near Skyline drive.  The hike was “moderately difficult,” the trail mix delicious, company lovely, conversation lively (ranging from literature to milkshakes to the portrayal of men in modern sitcoms to grad school and how we’re at the point in life where major decisions are behind us!).  I was exhausted, exhilarated after a few hours of hiking.  we got some great photos, too.  the drive back included a stop at a fruit/farm stand for some apple cider and dinner at chick-fil-a.  When we returned, I wanted to pass out, but instead I put on my riding boots and went out to meet another group of friends to celebrate a birthday at my favorite neighborhood wine bar.  After a glass and a few apps, we ate gluten-free cupcakes.  what a sweet ending to a great day!  I then came home and watched a few episodes of Mad Men and cleaned out my closets!

Sunday: Church in the morning, complete with an oldschool preacher who was a captivating storyteller and a great lineup of music.  Helped a coworker for an hour for an event today, went to my old Trader Joe’s for a few groceries, came home and cooked some tasty healthy food for lunch.  When I was just drifting off into napland, I got a call from a sick friend who wanted to GIVE AWAY her ticket to see the Civil Wars, a folky acoustic duo who I had heard a few times and liked.  I said of course!  Off to the church to help with a freelance design project, into my slouchy boots and bomber jacket and then down to DC for the show.  The concert was amazing.  the only show that’s come close was OtR at Canal Street in 2005! It was intimate, the two musicians had an amazing chemistry.  Their music was flawless and artistic–it just flowed out of them.  Also, the female vocalist was joyful–it was clear she was having a delightful time singing and we just got to watch.  I can’t tell you how good it was for me to see them interacting and sharing their music and hearts with all of us.  I had a wonderful time.

There you have it.  I didn’t catch up on my sleep.  I didn’t rest.  But I got to spend time with wonderful people and take in God’s art and some fantastic music.  I got to eat good food, laugh, hear from my friends about what’s important.  I’ll sleep tonight.  Maybe.  :)

Friday:
Signed up for Google+, hung out with a coworker 5 feet away
Wore a flirty-yet-fierce outfit out to a fantastic GF southwest restaurant with my BF
Cuddled and watched an epic movie about brave men

Saturday:
Got up way too freakin’ early to complete day one, week three of my running plan. finished, then ran an extra interval with friends who are training for a 10 miler.
Met a friend for a delish GF brunch (Iraqi corned beef hash? yes, please!)
Took a nap
Got ready for a wedding by doing a video consult with a friend. Decided to swap accessories.
Successfully incorporated pink belt into outfit before the ceremony started
Attended a beautiful wedding for people that I love
Ate some delicious brie at the reception
Went out for Pan asian food and drinks for the after party
Chatted with my sister on the west coast

Sunday:
Church, awesome sermon about suffering and not comparing yourself to others (what is that to you? you follow me!)
delicious fried rice leftovers with my BF
pool time!
Delicious thai food with a long-lost friend from college
harvest, on remembering the right things
Chatted with my mom
Passed out. Full, happy, exhausted

#nude_heels_ftw

also, i’ve been doing t-tapp awesome legs the last few weeks. it was a nice boost after a rough day

i spent 9 months doing a fellows program that focused on approximately one thing: getting a group of recent college grads to think about work and faith coherently. i left the program feeling good about getting a job working for “the man,” knowing that loving my neighbor was being a darn good graphic designer, that pushing back the darkness meant making lucid and powerful designs, and that my 9-5 job was building the kingdom as much as a missionary because I was uniquely called to it.

sortof.

so, i got a job where i wear a suit, take an elevator, carry a laptop, speak in business jargon, stress about an annual assessment committee, oh, and do graphic design.

and i just realized, just tonight, that my view of my job isn’t big enough.

my view of my job is very narrow. I believe God gave me this job on a silver platter because i was unemployed, needed health insurance, and knew it would grow my character to be in an environment like this one. God then gave me a few coworkers to have deep conversations with and maybe share about my faith. He wants me to work hard, as unto him, not unto man. He generally likes the designs that I do.  And that’s as far as it goes.  Me, God, a few coworkers.

but, i don’t really view my company in a big sense, corporately. i don’t pray for God to bless the firm. I don’t pray for God to make the company more money. I don’t pray for the right employees to be brought to the company. I don’t think about how I can be a blessing to all the people I meet. On the contrary, I see myself and “them”–the pushy consultants who click past me in heels or don’t speak on the elevators. If I feel a hint of self-importance in someone, I write them off as a suit without a soul! I don’t particularly want my company to flourish–in fact, i think of the principals as people who sacrificed their dreams and their families to be where they are. gah! what scary things lurk in my heart!  i still have a bifurcated view of life, apparently.

anyway, i’m praying for a new perspective on all this. let me know if you’ve prayed for blessing for your big institution or if you’ve thought about how the Kingdom might intersect with your company’s more abstract mission. it might be time for coffee with steve garber…

there are two songs in rotation now that make me think of the gospel.

Miranda Lambert’s Heart Like Mine – This song is about not fitting in in the church and understanding grace. She also refers to Jesus as a real person, who lived and breathed and met people where they’re at. I love it.

Darius Rucker’s This – This one doesn’t mention Jesus or God, and could easily be about fate in general, but when i listen, i hear that it is all about providence. not determinism, but the idea that God allows us to have choices, will, authority, but that he’s ultimately got the end of the story figured out. i love this. i cause myself extreme anxiety when i think that every choice i make could ruin my life. it’s really not true. God’s got it worked out and I can act and trust that He’ll be good to me, like he’s promised.

delicious corned beef (from TJ’s) and mashed potatoes

“My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend“–a surprisingly well-done rom com available streaming on netflix

sunshine

my physical therapist from a few years ago who just moved practices is now 10 mins from my office

hanging out with charismatics and presbyterians in the same weekend

Rockland’s barbeque

“O Love that will not let me go” by Indelible grace or Christ Community College (look it up on grooveshark)

grooveshark, netflix streaming

all the beautiful design and typography that is proliferating with the ipad and increasing design awareness in general

daffodils pushing out of the ground

cardigans

God speaking to people through words, verses, and pictures

people who expect God to speak through words, verses, and pictures

my new phone which is my boyfriend’s old phone

grass-fed new zealand cheddar from Trader Joe’s

talking to Talitha